The Valeyard laughed evilly.
"And now I shall destroy *you*, you meddling, fun-loving dolts!"
He raised his hands, ready for the coup d'etat...
...and Alryssa, with one last regretful glance in Fitz's direction, hurled the largest cream pie yet seen in this story straight at the Valeyard's face.
The Valeyard reached out and casually plucked the pie out of midair.
He sneered.
For good measure, he gave vent to a derisive burst of evil laughter.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
The laughter was a mistake. If he'd left it at the sneer, he would still have had time to do his get the job done.
As it was, he was still raising his hands again as a crowd of revellers who had got lost in the many corridors of the Capitol appeared through a door behind him. Some were armed with custard pies, some with balloons, some with musical instruments. Seeing the Valeyard's unprotected back, none hesitated for a moment.
[Cue enormous pro-fun melee. Anyone can jump in here, even if you haven't contributed to the story yet. This may be the only chance you ever get in your entire life to attack the Valeyard in a humorous manner.]